I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
