By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
