I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just forgot I was standing up.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
