You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
