Apparently you make a good broom.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
