lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
