He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize