Christians are straight up FREAKS
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Drunk is not a location!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
