Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
