I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize