Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
