While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I love you.
Bad choice
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize