My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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