Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
