Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
