What a fucking waste of an outfit
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
two words: eviction party
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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