i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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