she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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