she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
