508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
