moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
