The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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