I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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