I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
