U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
