Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
