Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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