My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
