So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
