Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
