its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
