just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize