We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
