i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
