Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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