There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize