Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
