help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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