I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize