Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
