Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
