i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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