My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
