hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My vagina just clenched in fear
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
