I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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