AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
birth control should be required to get into college
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
