Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
