Kiss
Puke
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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