I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
