I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
