The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
