I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
