Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
