He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
