I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
