he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
