Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
