Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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