you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
