She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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