I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
